Drawing From (non)Experience

Only To Your Phone

One of my greatest frustrations with myself is my poor memory. Thinking back to what started the writing process of Only To Your Phone, I have only flashes of memory. Anytime I think of how this song began, these images come to mind.

The first image is me sitting on a coach bus looking out the window. I was on a school trip to see Jersey Boys in Chicago (Side note: I remember being in line for the bathroom during intermission and hearing all the old ladies complaining about the language in the show.)

That trip was either in the spring of my freshman year or the fall of my sophomore year. The reason this is significant for me has to do with my next memory. This one is me sitting in my parents master bathroom during a thunderstorm. I loved their bathroom because they had all these windows and when opened, the sound of the rain reverberated beautifully off of the tile. I remember I turned off the lights and watched the lightning outside.

Just like how Sew Me Up was wrapped up in my sister leaving for college, this song was even more directly related. I think my first memory had less to do with Jersey Boys and more to do with a profound realization that I was going to have to experience high school without my sister. I know this because my second memory was from later that night when I sat in my bathroom contemplating life without my sister, and thus, only to your phone was born.

Um… Hi
I just wanted to say “Hi”
’cause I’m feeling a little lonely
as the thunder’s shaking my pillow

I don’t know why
I feel this way tonight
I just don’t feel so brave anymore
and I don’t want to let you down
but its so hard

How does life go on
when you’re gone
and how can I still breathe
when my lungs are staying still

I wish that you could still listen
‘Cause the warmth from your side’s missin’
and I’m only talkin’ to your phone

Well life hasn’t been the greatest
since you left things so complicated
how can I get away

with nothing more to say
the last words that you breath
you said take a leap of faith

 How does life go on
when you’re gone
and how can I still breathe
when my lungs are staying still

I wish that you could still listen
‘Cause the warmth from your side’s missin’
and I’m only talkin’ to your phone

If I could ask a question
If I could hold you tight
but now I’ll only dream of your voice

 How does life go on
when you’re gone
and how can I still breathe
when my lungs are staying still

I wish that you could still listen
‘Cause the warmth from your side’s missin’
and I’m only talkin’ to your phone

Cover photo by Simon Robben from Pexels